Marriage Is a Great Deal, Until the State Shows Up

Commentary by Ryan “Dickie” Thompson

Matt Walsh’s point is simple: marriage can give you the best stuff life offers. Love. Loyalty. Kids. Meaning. A legacy.

I agree with that part.

Where I split from him is what comes next. He looks at the modern divorce system and says, “We need the law to punish adultery and clamp down.”

As a libertarian, that’s where I tap the brakes.

If marriage is a sacred vow, the state is the last tool you should trust to protect it.

The scandal isn’t the point, but it proves something real

Walsh uses the Elijah Schaffer and Sarah Stock mess as an example of a deeper problem: trust is low, incentives are warped, and public “family values” branding does not always match private behavior.

And here’s the part nobody wants to say out loud: young men and young women watch stuff like that and think, “Why would I sign a contract that can ruin me?”

That fear is not crazy. It’s learned.

Marriage today is not just a vow, it’s a government contract

Most people talk about marriage like it’s only personal. It’s not.

In the U.S., marriage is a bundle of legal defaults written by politicians, interpreted by courts, and enforced at gunpoint if you ignore the orders. That includes how divorce works, because all 50 states offer some form of no-fault divorce.

Walsh hits the nerve here: a lot of people feel the deal is one-sided.

And yeah, courts often split property close to 50/50, and many courts don’t care about adultery when dividing assets unless it involved financial waste.

So if you’re a young guy staring down that risk, I get why you’d hesitate.

The “women initiate divorce” stat gets thrown around for a reason

Walsh cites the research finding women initiate about 69% of divorces.

That stat is real in the data he’s citing. But the lesson is not “women bad” or “men doomed.”

The lesson is: incentives matter.

If the legal system makes it easy to exit, rewards exit, or treats marriage like a loose handshake, people will treat it like a loose handshake. That is not a moral sermon. That’s basic economics.

I’m not jailing cheaters, sorry

Walsh flirts with the idea of criminal penalties for adultery.

No.

The state should not be throwing people in cages for private betrayal. That’s not pro-family, that’s pro-police-state.

But I do think adultery and abandonment should matter in the contract. Civilly. Financially. In a way the couple agreed to up front.

Freedom of contract beats moral laws every time.

The libertarian fix: make marriage “opt-in,” not “one-size-fits-all”

Here’s what a freer, saner marriage system looks like:

1. Make prenups normal, cheap, and enforceable.
   Not just for rich people. For everyone. Marriage is a high-stakes partnership. Write the rules while you still like each other.

2. End permanent alimony as a default.
   If two adults want lifetime support terms, fine, sign it. If not, the default should be clean separation.

3. Let people choose “marriage contracts” like you choose insurance plans.
   Vanilla contract, covenant-style contract, religious arbitration contract, whatever. The key is choice.

4. Keep the state focused on kids, not revenge.
   Child support should be transparent, tied to real costs, and not used as a backdoor spouse-support pipeline.

5. Stop pretending the state can manufacture trust.
   Trust comes from character, community, and consequences. Not from a courthouse.

This is the free market answer: reduce the legal landmines so good people aren’t punished for trying to build a family.

So is marriage still worth it?

Yes. Even with the risk.

Walsh is right about one thing that never gets said enough: marriage is not only about what you “get.” It’s also about what you build, and what your kids get.

And the research is pretty steady here: on average, kids do better when they’re raised by two married biological parents, compared to many other family setups.

That doesn’t mean everyone outside that setup is doomed. It means the stable, committed home is a powerful advantage. We should be honest about that.

My bottom line

Marriage is good.

The modern state-run divorce machine is not.

If we want more families, more kids, and fewer bitter people, we should stop treating marriage like a political program and start treating it like a voluntary contract adults control.

That’s how you make marriage feel safe again, without begging for more government.

Sources

• Conservative Influencer Cheating Scandal: Was The Manosphere Right All Along?|https://www.dailywire.com/news/conservative-influencer-cheating-scandal-was-the-manosphere-right-all-along

• Far-Right Trad Grifter Melts Down After Sex Scandal Exposed|https://www.thedailybeast.com/far-right-trad-grifter-elijah-schaffer-melts-down-after-sex-scandal-exposed/

• Women More Likely Than Men to Initiate Divorces, But Not Non-marital Breakups (ASA)|https://www.asanet.org/women-more-likely-men-initiate-divorces-not-non-marital-breakups/

• Rosenfeld ASA news release PDF|https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/savvy/documents/press/pdfs/AM_2015_Rosenfeld_News_Release_FINAL.pdf

• No-Fault vs. Fault Divorce Under State Laws (Justia)|https://www.justia.com/family/divorce/the-divorce-process/no-fault-vs-fault-divorce/

• Equitable Distribution Legal FAQs (Justia)|https://www.justia.com/family/divorce/docs/equitable-distribution-faq/

• Marriage and Child Well-Being: Research and Policy Perspectives (PMC)|https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3091824/

• US births dropped last year, suggesting the 2024 uptick was short-lived (AP)|https://apnews.com/article/7d1e0ed60d47cda819eb122b6cb78fdb

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