By Ryan “Dickie” Thompson, Punk‑Rock Libertarian | Cebu, Philippines – June 18, 2025
I’m diving straight into it—no fluff, no filter, just unvarnished truth. I’ve been here in Cebu for eight months now, and I keep hearing the same refrain: “Filipino women are strong‑willed—and you wouldn’t date that.” Let me tell you exactly why that’s bullshit.
I love strong women. Always have. Not the shrill, self‑antagonizing, “call‑me‑queen” kind—no, I want a real partner, a teammate, someone who can stand shoulder‑to‑shoulder with me in the trenches.
Let me lay out the facts with brutal honesty, because I’ve lived this story:
🛠️ The Ex‑Who Was Married—Strong and Reliable
My first wife? Fierce as hell. She earned a full scholarship to Westminster—it’s one of the best business schools in the Western Hemisphere—before she dropped out because she felt out of place around wealthier students. But then she came to work with me. Right out of high school she made $30/hour as media director. She fixed our Land Rover during Maine’s brutal winters when my body was broken from that car accident. That’s strength.
We both earned—but I consistently made three times her income. We built a household where she homeschooled our kids, and I held down the provider role. That’s a power couple dynamic: independent, capable, united.
🌴 The Kona Jewelry Partner—Strong… and Criminal
Then there was the girl from Hawaii. Strong-willed? Absolutely. She launched a jewelry store with me—her parents even financed it. But it turned toxic quick. Reckless driving tickets, assault charges, felony convictions, violence against me and my daughter. That… that’s insufferable. That’s what I call crossing the line: strong-willed with a toxic spin.
🪶 The Recent Wife—Again, Crossing That Line
My current marriage? New bride, beautiful—another high‑octane Capricorn. Strong-willed but… she came with deferred-sentence baggage: assault on an ex‑boyfriend six months before we tied the knot. She assaulted me post‑wedding too. I said “No more.” That’s the difference between strength and insufferability. Progressive discipline, yes—but not abuse.
👩👦 The Mom—Subtle Insufferability
And then there’s my mother. Not headstrong by nature, but subtle: physical attacks, lying to police to pin blame on my dad. That’s insufferable behavior. Don't mistake weak-willed for insufferable—one is harmless, the other destructive.
The Filipino Female Reality
Here in Cebu, most people survive on under ₱20,000 (~US $400) a month. Single moms juggle multiple jobs and responsibilities. They’re resilient, firm, and capable—but here’s the kicker: culturally, they want traditional roles. They prefer community, faith-rooted houses, strong men as leaders, and women who cooperate—not dominate. Catholic values are alive here. I’ve been touring towns across Cebu, and I’ve yet to see a pride flag. LGBTQ+ people exist, yes—but there’s not the same uproar you see in the West. That encroachment of Western feminism? It’s whispering in—but it doesn’t scream here.
So when people say “Filipino women are strong‑willed in a way you won’t accept,” they misunderstand. That’s not true. I do date strong-willed women. I married strong-willed women. But I never tolerate insufferable behavior—unbearable arrogance, abuse, toxicity. Dictionary definition: “too extreme to bear or intolerable; having or showing unbearable arrogance or conceit; an insufferable bully.” That’s what broke my marriages—not their strength, but their toxicity.
What Defines a Real Partnership?
1) Strength with Accountability
A strong woman doesn’t dominate—she collaborates. My ex‑wife ran media campaigns and homeschooled. She supported our mission. A partner’s strength should reinforce family bonds, not dissolve them.
2) A Shared Vision of Roles
I always aim to lead in public: provider, protector, strategist. A good partner leads in private: nurturing, teaching, running the household. Two heads, one mission.
3) Mutual Submission ≠ Weakness
Feminists love to scream that “submission” is misogynistic. Not when you understand it properly. Submission is mutual. He submits to her needs; she submits to his mission; they submit to a greater purpose—their family, their values.
“Wives submit to husbands” is Biblical—but that’s just half the story. Husbands submit too: to the peace, growth, and well‑being of the household. That’s not weakness—that’s unity.
4) Strong-Willed ≠ Insufferable
Capricorn, Phoenix, Aries… I’ve dated untamed women who had rightful ambition. That alone was never a problem. Some of the strongest people I know are women. The problem arises when strength turns into toxicity—domination, disregard for mutual respect, violence, entitlement.
Why Does This Matter?
If you’re building a life—raising children, fostering independence, spreading a message—weak partners hold you back. But insufferable ones destroy that foundation. You need strength, not toxicity. That’s what Disruptarian is all about: freeing individuals and families to build voluntary, resilient communities. That starts with strong, respectful partnerships.
Final Takeaways
- Yes, I love strong women. Those who hustle, who fix problems, who stare the cold in the face and say “Bring it on.”
- No, I don’t tolerate toxicity. If your strength turns into cruelty, dominance, or undermine respect—you’ve crossed the line.
- Traditional roles are not weakness. They are functional. The man leads, the woman supports. But both lead in equal measure—in different arenas.
- Mutual submission isn’t chauvinism. It’s necessary. It keeps the peace, builds unity, and strengthens hearts—especially in a family.
- Culture matters. Cebu’s values remind me that resilience doesn’t mean rejection of tradition. You can respect heritage and move forward freely.
So don’t sell me the weak‑vs‑strong tropes. I want strength—with humility, unity, and mutual deep respect. I’m building a Disruptarian future—and that starts at home.
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