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Parental Alienation Is Slow Motion Child Abuse: My Open Letter And The Kacey Project

by | Nov 30, 2025 | Social Opinions, Parenting | 0 comments

the kacey project parental alienation

Parental Alienation Is Slow Motion Child Abuse

This started as a private email to my ex-wife.
I am turning it into a public post for one reason only: the kids.

Not for revenge. Not for pity.
Because parental alienation is like carbon monoxide in a house. You do not see it at first, but it sits in the walls and slowly kills trust, joy, and connection.

You know what? We talk a lot about “abuse” in this country, but we almost never talk about the quiet kind that happens when one parent trains the kids to doubt and despise the other.

That has to change.

The email I sent to their mom

Names of my kids are censored here. In the original email they were not.

****** **** has questions about my new child and children to come

Like anyone who has ever known me, 12 is my prime goal. Who knows if that will happen

But as some of my kids have a falling out with me.

I do hope that some will carry on the work that I have started.

One can dream

I did finally get one of my software titles released, Verifact. It is one of three titles in the truth detection series that I started long ago. www.veracityintegrity.com

The actual sincerity test / truth measurement algorithm that I have been working on since 2014, is close to an alpha testing stage as well.

So there is a lot of work that will hopefully carry on once I have left this world, one way or another.

And the Mt Gox settlement will fuel that for generations after I go hopefully

Ref: https://youtu.be/JkR5gQI4VKY?si=_yNKhhY_KUQCzc1g

I had a lot of hope for ****** **** and his very scientific mind

Who knows, maybe he will come back around.

Again, one can dream

But please. The skeptical or derogatory tone I often hear mirrored by the kids, it's disappointing.

Parental alienation is not a parent saying “you can't go see your dad”

It is a slow methodical strategy of bad mouthing the other parent in front of the kids, or teaching the children to doubt the other parent

It's not just sad to me. It's unhealthy for them

I love them, and I hope they come back around to realizing how much I love them

And this gender fad or gender ideology that has since halved in numbers starting in 2023 (before Trump ever ran again) is just a sign of what I was saying the whole time about how trends come and go

I never denied their identity or sincerity

I just choose to avoid the new hot thing that is out
No matter what it is.

And that is our only difference of opinion really, when it comes down to it.

I even tattooed ****** ****'s name on my arm a few years ago. Affirming her autonomy and giving her respect for her choice to change her identity

That I agree is possible. And I respect it

Changing ones gender is an XX vs XY issue, and even Mr Rogers knew better than to think one could ever change their gender.
I wouldn't think of him as some icon of hate or intolerance
Just facts are always facts, regardless of what someone believes

Please go easy on them and their thoughts and opinions of me

I beg you, for their sake

Best regards,

Ryan Thompson

That is not a legal brief.
It is a father saying “stop poisoning the well.”

What parental alienation actually looks like

A lot of people think parental alienation is just “My ex said I cannot see the kids.”

That is the cartoon version.

The real thing is slower and more surgical:

  • Constant criticism of the other parent in front of the kids
  • Eye rolls, sarcasm, jokes that all land the same way: “your dad is a clown”
  • Rewriting history so good memories with the other parent get covered in suspicion
  • Rewarding the child when they reject or mock the other parent

The research backs up what a lot of alienated parents feel in their bones. A 2025 open access study in Current Psychology found that higher levels of childhood exposure to parental alienation were tied to lower life satisfaction in adulthood, and that it runs through rejection sensitivity and revenge driven coping. (SpringerLink)

The authors describe how kids who live through this show more anxiety, depression, guilt, and fear of attachment later on, all linked to how they were coached to turn against one parent without real cause. (SpringerLink)

The Kacey Project site pulls together several more sources that say the same thing in different ways: reviews of alienating behaviors and children’s mental health, work on adult life satisfaction and alienation histories, and professional guidelines. (kaceythompson.org)

So when I say “it is unhealthy for them,” that is not a vibe. That is documented harm.

From private pain to a public project: The Kacey Project

I did not set out to build a “project.” I set out to stay in my daughter’s life.

Out of that came The Kacey Project at KaceyThompson.org, built around one simple idea: kids need both parents when it is safe, and parental alienation is what happens when that truth gets buried under manipulation and red tape. (kaceythompson.org)

The site lays it out in plain language:

  • Alienation is when one parent manipulates a child into unjustifiably rejecting the other
  • It is not the same as honest estrangement after real abuse
  • It poisons the bond, drives contact to zero, and leaves long term scars

The Kacey Project is my way of saying: this is bigger than my case. It is about every kid whose relationship with a loving parent got turned into a weapon. We document. We educate. We advocate shared parenting and real consequences for gatekeeping. And we keep saying the part no one in the system seems to want to say out loud: if your paycheck depends on conflict that never ends, you are part of the problem. (kaceythompson.org)

How this fits into my larger fight

If you read my other pieces on Disruptarian, this post sits in a larger thread.

  • In “Parental Alienation: A Hidden Crisis Affecting Parents’ Lives and Mental Health”, I lay out how alienated parents are at significantly higher risk of depression and suicide, and how family breakdown linked to alienation shows up in national suicide stats, especially for men. (Disruptarian)
  • In “Breaking the Silence: My Journey Through Parental Alienation”, I walked through my own story as Parental Alienation Awareness Day rolled around, and why silence protects systems, not children. (Disruptarian)
  • In “A Father’s Fight Against Parental Alienation: Ryan Thompson’s Battle for Truth and Integrity”, I connected the dots between ideological pressure, gender politics, and weaponized narratives that make kids feel like loving their father is some kind of rebellion. (Disruptarian)

Those posts pull in work from psychologists, survivor stories, and data sets. Pieces like “Understanding Parental Alienation: Insights from a Psychologist”, “Brainwashed Children: The Tragic Effects of Parental Alienation”, and “Bridging Divides: A Comprehensive Look at Parental Alienation and the Path to Healing” are all part of the same library. (Disruptarian)

This email to my ex is the raw version. No polish. Just “please stop doing this to the kids.”

The tattoo, the name, and the culture war trap

I mentioned in the email that I tattooed my daughter’s chosen name on my arm. That was not symbolic politics. That was me saying, in ink, “I respect your autonomy. I see the person you say you are.”

Do I still believe sex is rooted in biology, XX and XY, like every basic biology book used to say? Yes. I am not going to pretend chromosomes are a social construct just because it is fashionable.

But there is a difference between disagreeing on metaphysics and denying your kid’s humanity.

The whole gender debate has been weaponized inside family systems. If a parent raises questions or refuses to repeat every slogan, they are painted as dangerous, unloving, or even abusive. Meanwhile, courts and agencies get lobbied to treat ideological alignment as a safety issue.

You know what? That is the perfect storm for parental alienation.
Turn a scientific disagreement into a moral panic, then use that to choke off contact.

The United Nations Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls has even warned that parental alienation claims can be misused in the other direction, to discredit genuine abuse claims in custody cases. (OHCHR)

So yes, we have to walk and chew gum.
We have to call out alienation as abuse without letting bad actors hide behind the label.

Legacy, Mt. Gox, and why I keep talking about the future

In the email I talk about Verifact, my truth detection project, and the Mt Gox settlement.

Veracity Integrity and the Verifact device sit inside a bigger “truth and sincerity” project I have been building for years. (VeracityIntegrity.com) It is about measuring signals, testing claims, and giving ordinary people some kind of leverage in a culture where lying is cheap and trust is expensive.

Mt Gox is the other thread. The massive exchange collapse from 2014 is still echoing through my life and my kids’ future. After a decade of legal slog, the Japanese trustee has pushed repayment deadlines out to October 31, 2026.

If those funds ever land, my plan is simple: fuel the work that might outlive me.
Tools, projects, and platforms my kids can pick up if they choose.

Parental alienation threatens to burn that bridge before they even reach it, by teaching them that everything tied to my name is suspect.

That is not just an attack on me. It is an attack on their inheritance in the broadest sense. Their roots. Their story. Their options.

A plea to my ex, and to any parent doing this

To my ex:

I know you are hurt. I know your version of the story makes me the villain. I am not asking you to like me or rewrite your history.

I am asking you to stop recruiting the kids into hating me.

Stop letting your anger rent space in their heads.
Stop turning every disagreement into a personality assassination.

You can disagree with me on politics, gender, religion, Bitcoin, all of it. What crosses the line is using those disagreements to erode their love for their father, piece by piece.

To other parents reading this:

  • If you are the targeted parent, document, breathe, stay grounded. The system is slow, but your kid is watching who keeps their integrity.
  • If you are slipping into alienating behaviors, stop telling yourself “the kids need to know the truth.” They need stability and room to form their own view, not a constant drip of poison.
  • Get help outside the custody war. Therapy, community, support groups that are not just echo chambers for rage.

The family law machine will not save your kids. It is built like a casino. The longer you stay, the more chips you lose. The house wins.

Responsibility and restraint will save your kids. Or not.

What I want my kids to know

If any of my children read this someday:

You do not owe me agreement. You do not owe me a carbon copy worldview.

You owe yourself honesty.

If you cut me out, let it be for what I actually did, not for a script someone else wrote.
If you come back around, the door is open.

I love you. I always did. That part is not complicated.

One can dream.

Sources

Some key Disruptarian posts on this topic

Tattoo of my children's names, even ones they gave themselves

Tattoo of my children's names, even ones they gave themselves

(Plus your own personal documentation like the tattoo photo and Mt Gox update video, which stand as part of the story even if they are not “academic” sources.)

 

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