You’ve seen it a thousand times on Law & Order or some gritty Netflix reboot. A guy gets punched, the cops show up, and they lean over the victim with a notepad. “Do you want to press charges?” the officer asks with a stoic nod. The victim says “No,” and everyone goes home.
It’s a great trope. It makes for clean television. It also happens to be a total load of crap.
In the real world, the one where I live and the one where Disruptarian operates, the “Pressing Charges” myth is one of the most dangerous misunderstandings of the legal system. Most people think they are the protagonists of their own legal dramas. They think they hold the remote control.
I’m here to tell you that once the blue lights start flashing, you’ve lost the remote. The State has it now. And the State doesn’t care about your feelings, your “forgiveness,” or your desire to just “move on.”
I’ve had to learn this the hard way across three different decades, two different countries, and three separate physical altercations where I was the one assaulted. Each time, the same myth reared its ugly head. Each time, the State reminded me who actually owns the monopoly on violence.
2015: The “Boxing Ring” Incident
Back in 2015, I was dealing with a classic case of family-adjacent drama. My ex-wife’s half-brother, a kid with a criminal record full of harassment and terroristic threats, decided to make me his hobby. He was threatening me, harassing me, and generally being a nuisance.
Being a fan of the old-school ways of settling things, I offered him a libertarian solution: Let’s go to a boxing ring. Fair fight. One on one. No cops, no lawyers, just a ring and some gloves.
He declined.
Instead, his step-dad decided to show up at my front door to do the dirty work. He assaulted me right there on my property. When the Clovis Pocatello police arrived and interviewed everyone, they did their job. They looked at the facts and determined I wasn’t the aggressor.
Visual: A gritty, high-contrast boxing ring set in a dark alleyway, symbolizing the “fair fight” that the state refuses to allow.
The officer asked me that famous question: “Do you want to press charges?”
I said no. I didn't want the headache. I didn't want the court dates. I just wanted this guy to leave me alone. But here is where the “myth” shattered. The other guy, the one who actually started the fight, decided he wanted to press charges on me.
The result? We both got charged.
Wait, what? I declined charges, and he asked for them, so the State just… charged everyone? Exactly. Eventually, the charges against me were dropped (because, you know, reality), and he pleaded guilty to the charges against him.
The kicker? Even though I officially “declined” to file charges in the initial police report, the State pursued him anyway. Why? Because the State doesn't need a victim's permission to prosecute a crime. Once they decide a law was broken, the “victim” becomes a piece of evidence, not a decision-maker.
References about that:
- https://opinions.clovisstar.com/public-complaint-against-officer-tyler-evans/https://opinions.clovisstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/
- Recordings with law enforcement about this assault; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggyGkRZaalQ
- http://opinions.clovisstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/brandons-arrests-3-2016_03_30-22_07_25-UTC-1024×604.jpg
- http://opinions.clovisstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Clovis_Star_3d_Ban1.jpg
- https://opinions.clovisstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/11751739_859292327460035_2513561426691463841_n-300×300.jpg
- https://opinions.clovisstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/55aff55b5763c.image_-256×300.jpg
- https://opinions.clovisstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/55aff55b5763c.image_.jpg
- If any of these files don't load, use the internet archive, and they are saved: https://web.archive.org/web
2021: The Irish “Two-on-One” (Athy, Ireland)
Fast forward to 2021. I’m in Ireland. Different continent, same nonsense.
Two of my soon-to-be brother-in-laws decided they had a bone to pick with me. My fiancé called me, frantic, telling me they were on their way and I should lock the door and hide.
Ref: https://archive.org/details/videoplayback_20260309_1835
I don’t hide.
I told her I’d be a man, and they should be men, and we could settle it one at a time. Of course, they didn’t do that. They showed up and jumped me two-on-one. I stood my ground, didn't move an inch, and waited for them to bring the fight to me.
Visual: A stylized, glitch-art representation of a recording device, emphasizing the importance of documenting reality when the state gets involved.
Two irish boys against one American (charges filed)
Predictably, after the dust settled, they ran to the Gardai (Irish police) and tried to claim I was the one who assaulted them. It was a classic “cry-bully” move. But just like in 2015, the authorities looked at the evidence. They looked at the footage of the initial confrontation.
They were arrested and charged. I wasn't.
But the lesson remained: they tried to use the legal system as a weapon. They thought that by being the first to “press charges,” they could control the narrative. They forgot that the police have something called discretion. The police looked at who pursued whom, who stood their ground, and who was the aggressor. The “victim’s” request was just a suggestion.
2024: The Pronoun Sucker Punch
The most recent incident happened just last year. This one was over something as absurd as “incorrect pronouns.” My kid's step-father didn't like my choice of words, so he ran out of his house and hit me with a sucker punch.
I didn't punch back. I used training. I grabbed him by the neck, took him to the ground, and held him there. I had to bite the back of his neck at one point because my ex-wife was literally kicking me while I was trying to restrain her husband.
When the police met me later at a Starbucks, I showed them my recordings. I always record. Always.
Visual: A heavy metal gavel smashing a neon sign that says “PRESSING CHARGES” into pieces.
The officers asked if I wanted to pursue charges. Again, I said no. I’m not a fan of the prison-industrial complex, and I don’t think every scrap needs a judge. So, no one was arrested.
But later, my kid told me something that made me laugh: “The reason you didn't get arrested is because Mom decided not to take you to court.”
That is the height of the myth. The idea that my ex-wife “allowed” me to stay free is a complete fantasy. The police told me directly that the new husband wanted me charged. The reason I wasn’t arrested wasn’t because of her “mercy”, it was because the police looked at / listened to the evidence, saw I was sucker-punched and acted in self-defense, and exercised their discretion to not charge me.
The Cold, Hard Truth About “Pressing Charges”
Let’s break down the mechanics here, because if you’re a Disruptarian, you need to understand how the machine works.
- The State is the Plaintiff: In a criminal case, the caption isn't Thompson vs. Step-Dad. It’s The People of the State vs. Defendant or The State vs. Defendant. The “victim” is just a witness for the State. You are the accuser, but you aren't the boss.
- Prosecutorial Discretion: The District Attorney (or the prosecutor) has the sole power to file or drop charges. They can look at a victim who is begging them to drop a case and say, “No thanks, we have a video and a medical report. We're going to trial.”
- Domestic Violence and Public Safety: In many places, the police must make an arrest if they see evidence of domestic violence, regardless of what the “victim” wants. The State has decided that “public safety” outweighs individual autonomy in these moments.
- Evidence-Based Prosecution: With the rise of body cams, doorbell cameras, and smartphones, the State doesn't even need you to testify anymore. They can run a “victimless” prosecution using your 911 call and the video footage.
The Libertarian Perspective
From a libertarian standpoint, this is the ultimate overreach. Two grown men have a dispute, one assaults the other, and a third party (the State) steps in, ignores the wishes of both parties, and uses the situation to fill its coffers or meet its arrest quotas.
The State doesn't care about justice; it cares about the monopoly. It cannot allow citizens to settle their own disputes, even peacefully or through mutual agreement, because that would prove the State is unnecessary.
But until we live in that voluntaryist utopia, you have to play the game by the rules that exist. And the rules say: You do not control the charges.
If you get into a fight, don't assume that “not pressing charges” is a Get Out of Jail Free card for the other guy, or for you. The police are an independent variable. They are an entity with their own agenda, and once they are on the scene, the situation belongs to them.
Final Thoughts
The next time you hear someone threaten to “press charges,” or conversely, someone who thinks they're safe because the victim “forgave” them, remember these three stories.
The legal system isn't a tool for your personal use. It’s a wild animal that the State keeps on a leash. Sometimes it bites the person you want it to bite. Sometimes it turns around and bites you. And sometimes, it just stands there and barks while the State collects its fees.
Keep your cameras rolling, keep your hands up, and never, ever assume the State is on your side just because you were the one who got hit first.
Stay rebellious.
Ryan “Dickie” Thompson
Founder, Disruptarian Radio
Sources & References:
- 2015 Incident (Pocatello, Idaho): Public Complaint Against Officer Tyler Evans
- 2015 Police Report: Initial Police Report – Clovis PD
- 2021 Ireland Incident: Video Evidence of Confrontation
- 2024 Incident: Public Record Reference: EPD (Eugene Police Department) case 24-05261.
