Here’s an excerpt from “The Splat-Fest of Salvation: A Lighthearted Look at the Sacrament of Baptism”:

As a cultural phenomenon, baptism has been a part of human experience for thousands of years. It’s a rite of passage, a symbol of new beginnings, and a declaration of faith. But despite its widespread practice, baptism can also be a bit… messy. I mean, have you ever tried to get the stain of holy water out of a white onesie? It’s like trying to clean a masterpiece with a garden hose.

But beyond the soggy shoes and awkward dry spell, baptism is a deeply personal and meaningful experience for millions of people worldwide. So, let’s dive in (pun intended) and explore the whys, whats, and wherefores of this sacred splash-a-fest.

The Why: Why do people get baptized, you ask? Well, for some, it’s a fundamental aspect of their faith – a way to publicly declare their devotion to a higher power. For others, it’s a symbolic rebirth, a chance to trade in their old, sinful self for a new, shiny one. And for still more, it’s a family tradition, a way to connect with generations past and carry on a cherished legacy. Whatever the reason, baptism is a remarkable display of faith, perseverance, and a healthy dose of vulnerability.