A Letter to My Children
Kids,
I am writing this to you in public because the attacks against me are public. I will not respond with hate. I will respond with truth.
Recently, your mother posted on social media, “Surprise asshole, your kids get to tell you who they are.” That statement is meant to paint me as someone who refuses to listen. Someone who hates. Someone who rejects.
That is not who I am. And if you ever doubt it, look at the record.
Years ago, when your sibling chose a new name, I adjusted immediately. I called her by that name. I respected it. After she had been using it for some time, I tattooed that name on my arm next to the rest of you. That is permanent ink. That is not symbolic support. That is commitment.
I originally named her Jennie, after my grandmother. My grandmother was my anchor in a chaotic childhood. She was my best friend. She was steady. I honored her by giving her name to my daughter. I even made a tribute to my grandmother here:
Ryan Thompson Tribute to Grandma Jennie | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65Y5zT1e7kU
And years ago, I wrote about my daughter as “the little tiny girl with a great big name, and little tiny toes.” That archive still exists:
Our Illegal Birth Welcome Baby Jennie | https://web.archive.org/web/20120808020229/http://xcannabis.com/2009/03/our-illegal-birth-welcome-baby-jennie/
That is the record of a father who loves his child.
So when someone claims I hate gay people or reject my children, it collapses under the weight of evidence.
Hate Is Unproductive
Back in 2016, I published a piece and video titled Hate Is Unproductive, Homosexuals Are Not Our Enemy. I stand by that today.
Hate Is Unproductive Video | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkVeFOgmni8
Republished Blog Post | https://disruptarian.com/blog/republish-article-from-2016-titled-hate-is-unproductive-homosexuals-are-not-our-enemy/
The message was simple. Hate solves nothing. Homosexuals are not the enemy. Government overreach is the enemy. Authoritarianism is the enemy. Collectivism is the enemy.
I have publicly supported gay marriage. I have publicly defended the rights of consenting adults to live as they choose. My entire libertarian philosophy is built on voluntary association and limited government. Adults can love who they want. The state has no business in it.
That has never changed.
What has not changed either is this: I believe gender dysphoria is a mental illness. That belief is not rooted in hate. It is rooted in caution. It is rooted in concern for children making permanent medical decisions.
Those two positions are not contradictions.
The Line I Draw
The only firm line I draw is this: children should not make irreversible medical decisions before they are old enough to understand the lifelong consequences.
Puberty blockers. Cross sex hormones. Surgeries. These are not cosmetic changes. They alter bone density. Fertility. Sexual function. Physical development. Some of these changes are not reversible.
We are already seeing the first wave of lawsuits from young adults who were transitioned as minors and now regret it. One of the first successful cases against providers of so called gender affirming care has already occurred. More will follow.
Gender Affirming Care Lawsuits Against Medical Providers | https://disruptarian.com/blog/gender-affirming-care-lawsuits-minors/
That is not hate. That is medical accountability.
As a father, my job is not to affirm every impulse. My job is to protect you from permanent harm until you are old enough to choose for yourself.
If you are 25 and want to alter your body, that is your choice. That is liberty. But if you are 13 or 14, and still learning algebra, that is not informed consent. That is experimentation on minors.
I will not support that. And refusing to support that is not hatred.
I Have Seen This Before
I grew up watching parental alienation happen in real time. I watched my own mother wage war against my father. I watched bitterness weaponized. I watched children used as leverage.
There is even a recorded conversation between me and my grandmother where we discussed how my mother prevented my half siblings from speaking to my father on his deathbed. That recording exists here:
Grandma Talking About Dad’s Kids | https://archive.org/details/auto-biography-ryan-thompson/grandma-talking-about-dads-kids.mp4
I watched a marriage of over 30 years collapse into resentment so deep that children became tools for revenge.
When you grow up in that, you recognize the pattern.
When someone promises they will turn your kids against you if you leave, that is not an idle threat. And when it begins happening, it feels familiar.
That does not mean I respond with revenge. It means I respond with consistency.
The Record Is Public
You can go back decades on my public record.
Utah Pirate Radio | https://www.youtube.com/@utahpirateradio
Years of videos. Years of libertarian commentary. Years of defending free speech, gay marriage, voluntary association, and pushing back against authoritarian conservatives.
In 2016, we were in Puerto Rico discussing immigration and Trump. Your mother publicly chimed in supporting those policies. That video exists:
Puerto Rico Immigration Discussion 2016 | https://www.facebook.com/790371788/videos/10154784185651789/
People can change their views. That is their right. But rewriting history to claim I have always been hateful is false.
If I had hatred toward homosexuals, there would be years of evidence of it. Instead, the evidence shows the opposite.
What I Actually Said
I once said I hoped my children would not choose a homosexual lifestyle. That statement has been twisted into “he hates gay people” or “he would reject gay kids.”
That is not what I said. And not what I meant.
Statistically, gay men account for a disproportionate percentage of new HIV cases. That is a public health fact. Beyond health, there are social pressures and stigmas that still exist. A father naturally hopes for the path with fewer obstacles for his children.
Hope is not hatred.
If one of you told me you were gay, I would not disown you. I would not cut you off. I would not stop loving you.
But I am allowed to have opinions about what I believe leads to flourishing and what carries risk. That is part of being an adult. That is part of being a parent.
Consistency Matters
The hardest thing to fake is long term consistency. My views on liberty have been steady for decades. Limited government. Individual responsibility. Free speech. Voluntary association.
Adults have the right to make their own choices. The state should stay out of bedrooms. The state should stay out of marriage.
The state should also stay out of pressuring children into irreversible medical pathways.
You can disagree with me. But you cannot honestly say I am inconsistent.
Love Without Lies
Kids, here is what I want you to hear.
You are not weapons. You are not tools in a culture war. You are not leverage in a divorce.
You are my children.
If you tell me who you are, I will listen. If you change your name, I will adjust. If you struggle, I will show up.
But I will not lie to make peace. I will not pretend biology is meaningless. I will not pretend that every modern medical trend is beyond question. I will not stay silent to avoid being called names.
Hate is unproductive. It destroys families. It poisons hearts. It blinds people.
Truth can be uncomfortable. But truth is not hate.
One day you will look back and see who stayed steady. Who kept the same principles. Who did not shift with the political winds.
When that day comes, I hope you see that my position was never about rejecting you. It was about protecting you.
And no matter what happens in public arguments, that has never changed.
I love you. Always.
Sources and Links
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Ryan Thompson Tribute to Grandma Jennie | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65Y5zT1e7kU
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Our Illegal Birth Welcome Baby Jennie | https://web.archive.org/web/20120808020229/http://xcannabis.com/2009/03/our-illegal-birth-welcome-baby-jennie/
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Hate Is Unproductive Video | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkVeFOgmni8
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Republished Blog Post | https://disruptarian.com/blog/republish-article-from-2016-titled-hate-is-unproductive-homosexuals-are-not-our-enemy/
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Gender Affirming Care Lawsuits Against Medical Providers | https://disruptarian.com/blog/gender-affirming-care-lawsuits-minors/
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Grandma Talking About Dad’s Kids | https://archive.org/details/auto-biography-ryan-thompson/grandma-talking-about-dads-kids.mp4
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Utah Pirate Radio | https://www.youtube.com/@utahpirateradio
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Puerto Rico Immigration Discussion 2016 | https://www.facebook.com/790371788/videos/10154784185651789/
